Alan and Mary Kate Talk Asking for Help
In this week’s episode, host Alan O'Mara and producer Mary Kate Boylan sit down to reflect. Let's dive in!
In this week’s episode, host Alan O'Mara and producer Mary Kate Boylan sit down to talk about topics including asking for help, how they feel about the word 'resilience' and turning awareness into action.
We used last week’s interview with comedian Emman Idama as a jumping off point, we’re still so grateful for everything Emman shared with us.
Emman is a brilliant comic based in Ireland, and we spoke with him when he was in New York making his US debut - headlining at NYC’s Dead Rabbit.
We talked about how Emman got into comedy; as well as abuse he lived through as a child, dyslexia, stuttering - and the things and people that helped him along the way.
It’s obvious that Emman has so much resilience - which got us talking about the skill. Alan’s done articles and a few videos on resilience throughout the years - bringing some nuance to a word that we note gets used recklessly at times.
Alan mentioned the My World Survey: improving youth mental health in Ireland study out of Ireland - which included “the finding that ‘One Good Adult’ is a key protective factor for young people.” Some key findings from the study:
‘One Good Adult®’ was important to the mental health of young people. Young people who perceived very low support from a special adult when in need had significantly higher levels of depression and anxiety. The presence of ‘One Good Adult’ was a key indicator of how well a young person can cope with problems.
Not talking about problems was linked to suicidal behaviour, and those who share their problems enjoyed better mental health.
Friends, talking, music and family were the top reported ways of coping among young people.
We talked about the shame attached to abuse - both child abuse, like Emman mentioned in the episode - and also with domestic violence.
Mary Kate talked about learning more about domestic violence while she worked in TV news for a story she produced - and the statistics involved. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, over 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
The shame and stigma often prevent people from reaching out for help - which got us talking about asking for help when needed, for any problem - small or large, mental health or otherwise.
Sometimes it’s a friend we lean on for help, and other times it’s someone more removed. In an episode of The Player’s Voice podcast, Alan spoke with Mary Hulgraine about deciding to reach out for help with her addiction, and who she chose to call when that time came.
Mary talked with such honesty and reflection on her addiction and mental health struggles, and also gave great insights about when she asked for help.
We also talked about awareness vs. action, how a lot of the systems feel lacking beyond the awareness being raised. But at the bottom of the newsletter, we included resources that are currently available for the topics discussed in the episode.
Lastly, as we mentioned in the episode, we’re so happy to be partnering with Connemara Marble for a giveaway! We’ll be picking a winner to receive their stunning silver and green marble Triskele pendant, pictured above. To enter, you just need to do two things!
Follow heyrealtalks on Instagram
Subscribe to our newsletter
That’s it, and you’re in. We’ll be picking a winner in the next couple weeks. Check out Connemara Marble’s jewelry, and good luck to everyone who enters!
Real Recommendations:
What we’re listening to:
Alan: The weather here has been so nice and we’ve been in the sun listening to country music - Mary Kate’s 90s/early 2000s country music playlist is a good throwback
Mary Kate: It’s Spring, it’s warm, it’s time to dance, listening to Empress Of on repeat
What we’re watching:
Alan: Ripley with Andrew Scott
Mary Kate: I can now report Traitors: Australia, Season Two was worth the watch - especially for the finale
What we’re reading:
Alan: Still reading Holding by Graham Norton - the plot is thickening!
Mary Kate: Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan
What we’re scrolling:
Alan and Mary Kate: This one is so good, so true:
Other things mentioned in the episode:
Sinead Burke - and her work with Tilting the Lense
Mary Kate’s favorite yoga practice - they have studios in NYC and London
Mary Hulgraine on The Player’s Voice
Our episode with comedian Katie Boyle on Apple or Spotify
Alan’s articles on resilience in IrishCentral and the Irish Independent
Some abuse resources:
In the US, National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 and resources and supports - you can text START to 88788 or call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233).
In the US, Childhelp is a child abuse resource, and counselors can be reached by phone or text at 800.422.4453.
In Ireland, Clildline.ie is a child abuse resource - help can be reached through the chat feature or at 1800 66 66 66.
Jigsaw.ie offers expert mental health support to young people aged 12–25 years-old - there’s is a chat feature on their site.
Some mental health and therapy resources:
If you’re listening in Ireland, Samaritan’s Ireland is a 24/7 mental health helpline that can be reached at 116 123, for free, day or night.
SOSAD Ireland provides free counseling, helpline and messaging services to those in need in Ireland.
Pieta provides a wide range of mental health services across Ireland free of charge, no referral needed.
Solace House provides free counseling for those in need in the US.
For listeners in the US, MK always recommends searching for a therapist on Psychology Today - you can search by location, services and insurance provider. And you can get a good sense of the therapists by the descriptions they write.
In the US, Crisis Text Line is a free 24/7 service that can be accessed by texting HOME to 741741.
Help is also available in the US by dialing 988
That’s us for this week! We’re so glad you’re all here and we’ll be back next week!
-Alan and MK